October 18, 2015

I'm Free

You know what's really life changing? Realizing you can do and be whatever you want. I have been watching way too much Frozen at work, so naturally the lyrics to Let It Go just popped into my head.

I planned my life according to what I grew up seeing around me and what I was told was the path to take. Do well in school, go to college, get married, have kids, ride out the rest of your life. This is what I had in mind and I was okay with it. And like clockwork, I've been able to check just about all of those things off the list. I'd been doing what I knew how to do. 

The thing is, I never in a million years considered the plan wouldn't work. That I'd have to make a new plan. I have let myself sit, stuck, at one particular point for so long. Part of it has been refusing to believe there is another path. But another part has been having so few examples or influences telling me there are many a right path for me to take. 

In the last few years I have had two, maybe three, people tell me it's okay if I don't check off that particular point in the plan. Can I just tell you what a relief it is to hear someone close to me say that? Instead of trying to help me find a way to cross it off the list, they say, "Hey I love you as you are and if this isn't something that is going to happen for you, that's okay! You can do other things. You can be other things. I'll support you in that. You can still have a wonderful, fulfilling life without checking off that step."

Ah, peace! I'm going to take the words from those dear people and let them sink in. Rearrange the plan. Stop butting my head against the old one. Let myself grow. Let my art grow. Let the important relationships in my life grow. Learn more, teach more, reach out more. Do the things I want and need to do without worrying about that unchecked step. 

Let it go.

Yeah I did it. I went there.

4 comments:

  1. it's natural that it took time for you, everyone has to wrap their head around a new reality when they've been anticipating a certain one for so long. you're handling life with grace. xo

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  2. This is beautiful, Bri. I've been struggling against my own assumed for past, and trying to fit myself - the new, creative self - into a mould I no longer can be bothered to bend and shape myself into...thank you for this xx

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  3. That seems to be what we all need. To be appreciated as we are, not as we could or should or maybe will be at some point in the future. So, it's wonderful there are those around you who have made a point to make it known they feel this way about you. Though it's kind of a bummer that only maybe three have thought to say it. Everyone gets so caught up in expectations, in what they think your life should look like maybe partly because it's what their life looks like. Or whatever. I don't know. But you, as you are, I find inspiring and innovative and compelling always. You definitely deserve to feel free.

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